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Everything You Need To Know About Parenting In 10 Billy Crystal Quotes

Think Usain Bolt has endurance? Since he debuted in the 70s stand-up scene, Billy Crystal has remained a permanent fixture in the comedy world. And while he’s had his share of hits (When Harry Met Sally) and misses (ahem, Father’s Day), the go-to Oscar host, actor, and children’s book author deserves every bit of his success. He is, after all, the man who’s gifted us with such greats as Miracle Max and Mike Wazowski. Since Crystal’s currently on a multi-city tour for his new stand-up show “Spend The Night With Billy Crystal,” it felt right to share some of the father’s (and grandfather’s) choicest quotes on parenting, marriage, and life.

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On Raising A Happy Family
“Kids need a happy household. They need to be loved and supported in their dreams. And I don’t think you can make your kids’ dreams your own. They need you to support them in their dreams.”

On The Secret To A Long-Lasting Marriage
“My parents always looked like they loved being together. That’s what I took from them, and that’s how my wife and I are. I still feel like we’re dating.”

On Constantly Pressing The Reset Button
“What’s so fascinating and frustrating and great about life is that you’re constantly starting over, all the time, and I love that.”


On Having Faith In Yourself
“To be good, you need to believe in what you’re doing.”

On Teaching Your Kids About Grit
“My mind is always going. I’m always thinking what I need to do, what I haven’t done, what I did do, what I didn’t do as well as I could – I’m relentless that way with myself.”

On Raising The Right Type Of Funny Person
“In high school, I was the class comedian as opposed to the class clown. The difference is the class clown is the guy who drops his pants at the football game, the class comedian is the guy who talked him into it.”


On The Importance Of A Healthy Sex Life
“I’ve always thought that the key to a good sex life is variety. That’s why God gave me 2 hands. Humans love sex, we need sex, it’s how we connect, it reminds us we’re alive, it’s the third most basic human need, after food and good movie popcorn.”

On How To Know You’ve Found The One
“The reason we are together is because she puts lead in my shoes and doesn’t let me fly off the earth. And it’s always been that way.”


On A Father’s Impact
“If you do something for the first time, you will always remember it. If your Dad has something to do with it, you write about it.”

On The Joy Of Seeing His Kids Raise Kids
“You have to really respect what your kids are doing with their kids and how they’re raising them. You can’t push your way into areas where you shouldn’t be saying anything. You have to always remember they’re not your own kids. Play with them, love them, spoil them to death – then hand them back.”