donald duck and donald trump
Duck n' Coverup

Don’t Expect to Meet Little Kids Named Donald

Among the Ezras, Ashers, and Declans born into the world on a daily basis, there are unlikely to be any Donalds. That’s because, according to the Social Security Administration (SSA), the given name of both the United States’ sitting president and Disney’s anger-prone, pantsless duck remains in decline for Americans-who-are-making-new-Americans.

The politically inclined who might think the name’s decreasing popularity is obvious (or a travesty) should pump the brakes: the name Donald has been in steady decline since 2000 when 1,610 newborns received the handle. That said, the name did take a hit between 2015 and 2016.  But its national ranking did have a similar drop between 2014 and 2015.

The drop is likely due to the fact that Donald more of an old-school name like Joe or Elmer. Actually, Donald’s decline is nearly identical to Joe’s but has never fallen as far as Elmer’s high point—a national ranking of 658 in 2003. That said, there may be a ton of shortened Joes hitting the streets considering Joseph was the 20th most popular name in the U.S. in 2016.

For those tempted to pick on Donald for the diminished ranking, it’s important to point out that on the lady side, Hillary isn’t faring too well either. In fact, there appears to be no trend in popularity whatsoever, and merely 412 Hillarys were named in the moniker’s most popular year: 2008. It’s also important to point out that pol or president may not an inspiration make. Consider the fact that when searching the SSA for Barack the result reads, “Barack is not in the top 1000 names for any year of birth beginning with 2000.”

More than likely Donald’s diminishing popularity is due to the fact that it simply lacks the oomph and vigor of some the hottest rising boy names of 2017, which include Arrow, Bowie, Kyd and … Ragnar.

So, farewell, Donald, the “proud chief” of Scottish lore and welcome to the rising tide of Scandinavian “judgment”. At least this ups our chances of one day having a President Ragnar.

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