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What is it like to be raised by 2 people of the same sex?
For a long time I hesitated to respond to this question, because the answer is so boring. But I think the mundanity actually reveals something important and often overlooked about same sex parenting.
Bill and Tim adopted me at birth in 1987. Bill was an up and coming lawyer in a big property management firm. Tim was a psychologist and the oldest male of 9 kids.
Tim put his career on hold to raise me. Bill kept working to pay the bills and put food on the table.
When I started school, Tim packed my lunch. Bill donned a suit and tie and headed to the office early each morning.
Tim was a health nut. Bill took me to the movies and McDonalds.
Tim picked me up from school and cooked the family dinner. Bill couldn’t cook an omelet to save his life. He went on business trips and always brought me back presents from the road.
Being raised by two dads is just like being raised by a mom and a dad. My mom just happens to be a guy.
Bill was stoic. He hugged me but it didn’t come natural, as if affection was a second language learned late in life. Tim was fluent. He always wrapped me up tight in his arms. Tussled my hair. Kissed my forehead.
When I went off to college, Tim was sad that I didn’t call home more often. I’m not sure Bill even noticed I was gone.
When I joined the National Guard and was shipping off to basic training, Tim was beside himself. Bill told me to have fun.
When the love of my life left me, Tim held me like I was 10 again, and I cried on his shoulder. Bill took me to get burritos.
So what’s it like being raised by 2 dads? It’s boring. I don’t mean boring like waiting-for-water-to-boil boring. I mean boring like humdrum, mundane, plain, vanilla. Because being raised by two dads is just like being raised by a mom and a dad. My mom just happens to be a guy.
Zachary Matheson is in the National Guard and enjoys writing about family and humor. Read more from Quora below: