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You see a young couple with their kids in a restaurant and they are on the phone the whole time without conversing with each other. What do you think?
My husband, daughter, and I went to a restaurant yesterday for dinner. If you would have looked over at our table you probably would have seen:
- My husband looking at his phone.
- Me keeping an eye on our 15-month-old.
- Us not talking.
But what you would not have known is the following:
My husband’s birthday was yesterday, he is also a stay-at-home parent. He spent the entire day corralling a toddler, reading her books, taking her to the library and on a walk, changing diapers, making lunch and snacks, putting her down for a nap, and cleaning the house. When we sat down at that table it was the first time he had all day to read all of his happy birthday wishes and respond. He was having a moment to himself.
I work out of my home office. I spend my day communicating between developers, designers, salespeople, and founders. I also get to see my husband and daughter a lot since they are both also in the house most of the day. I was giving my husband a break from child-duty and savoring some time spent not talking and simply enjoying my beer and watching my little girl make friends with other kids.
You will never know the whole story. You can’t assume anything about a family’s entire life by a single snapshot.
Tracy Lasseter is a product manager, gardener, and parent. Read more from Quora below:
- How do I raise my kids so they’re ready to support themselves by 18?
- How has your relationship with your spouse changed since having children?
- I do not believe in co-sleeping but my partner does. How do we compromise?