The FDA Does Not Want Anyone Eating Cookie Dough Michael Newman
Also, Christmas Is Cancelled

The FDA Wants You And Your Kid To Stop Eating Raw Cookie Dough

You and your kid both know that the best part of baking cookies is cleaning the mixing bowl with your tongue. But the Food And Drug Administration issued a consumer advisory report last week that puts the kibosh on raw cookie dough — and not because of the “raw eggs might have salmonella” reason your wife keeps bringing up.

The bigger issue is an E. coli outbreak in flour that resulted in a recall of 10 million pounds of the stuff last year. The dreaded bacteria will have you hugging the toilet harder than a hungover frat guy, and that’s nothing compared to what it can do to your kid. Animals are to blame for the latest contamination, because wheat fields are great places to poop and wheat processing doesn’t necessarily remove that poop. Who wants cookies now?

The FDA Does Not Want Anyone Eating Cookie Dough

The good news is that there’s a real easy way to kill E. coli: Bake the damn cookies. The bad news is this means you have to do the dishes the old fashioned way. But the best news is that Ben & Jerry’s cookie dough ice cream is not affected by the FDA’s advisory report. Cookie Monster could not be reached for comment.

[H/T] The Washington Post