science
No Clowns Were Hurt In This Study

Researchers Have Determined Whether Or Not Your Kid Is Going To Be A Creep

Part of the job of raising little humans is making sure they grow up happy, healthy and don’t turn into total creeps. In order to do this, you have to think about what makes a person creepy, which might be hard for someone as charming as you to understand. Fortunately Francis McAndrew of Knox University conducted a study looking at just that, so your kid won’t grow up to alienate people more than they already do (no judgement — it’s not their fault yet).


The survey asked 1,341 people to rate the creepiness of 44 different adult behaviors, as well as careers and hobbies. Respondents said that the creepiest indicators included lip-licking, laughing at inappropriate moments, greasy hair, dirty clothing, pale skin and strange smiles — all qualities that prove kids have their creep game on lock. One of the biggest markers of potential creepiness comes down to whether or not you have a son or a daughter, as men are more likely to be labeled creepy. So it’s going to be hard pretty to explain how your youngster got their creepiness from their mother.

 

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Don’t worry too much about your children being creeps now. As they get older many of these characteristics fade away, but their future hobbies and career path may keep them in the creep category. If your kid wants to be a clown (do they?!), taxidermist, sex shop owner, funeral director or meteorologist, you better hope they stop licking their lips and start washing their hair by then, because those all ranked as creepiest jobs. And, while it’s not clear what’s wrong with meteorologists, one thing about the study is conclusive: If your kid wants to be a sex shop owner, you have bigger problems than the fact that they’re creepy.

[H/T] Discover Magazine

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