flickr / Stepan Vrany

What To Do When Her Due Date Has Passed

flickr / Stepan Vrany
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Nobody likes someone who always runs late. It’s like they don’t care about your priorities, or the fact that you might have things to do. If the person is your unborn kid who’s past their due date, you might be equally annoyed. And it’s not like you can send an anonymous note to the supervisor recommending the kid be fired. Being fired is a super rough way to start life. There are better options.

First Off, Is Your Kid Really Late?

The thing is that due dates are super hard to calculate. So there’s a very good chance things are still on track even though you’ve blown past week 40. Generally the target date is between 38 and 42 weeks. So don’t even stress if the kid is a couple weeks late. Reserve that for the year 2036 when you don’t hear from them after spring break.

flickr / Kristina Servant

flickr / Kristina Servant

You Can’t Blame Traffic

If your kid doesn’t show up after those couple of weeks, then you can officially call them late (man, if this only worked for doctors appointments). There are a couple of reasons this might happen. One of the more odd reasons could be linked to your kid’s sex. Turns out that boys have a tendency to be late, probably because they’re too busy smoking behind the school and trying to look cool for their friends.

Other reasons are linked to your partner’s weight (don’t even think about mentioning it), first pregnancies and whether or not late births run in your partner’s family. Which could be the case considering how long it takes them to get out of your damn house when they come to visit.

Risks Of Lateness

There are a few risks to your kid being late to their own birthday. You know, beyond how freaking uncomfortable your partner looks, always. These could include your baby running out of room in the womb, or a drop in the amniotic fluid that’s protecting them. There is also a risk that the placenta stops doing it’s job or that your kid could breath in their first poop, which is horrifying, frankly.

flickr / Daniel Lobo

flickr / Daniel Lobo

Get It Out!

It’s highly unlikely that your doc will recommend any serious interventions until they’re sure that your kid is in danger. After 42 weeks, your partner will likely be going in for regular non-stress tests (NST) which are non-invasive and simply monitors how the kid’s heartbeat reacts when they move.

If your doc deems it necessary they may administer oxytocin to induce labor. This could prevent the necessity for a c-section and the temptation to call your partner “Scar” for the rest of your (probably short) relationship.

Oh! And that things about having sex to induce labor? That’s pretty much a myth. But she doesn’t need to know that. And besides, what else were you 2 going to do while you wait?

While You Wait

While waiting for labor to start isn’t really fun for anyone, there’s no need to stay cooped up. If you want to go out to dinner or a movie, go ahead. You don’t have many more chances before your tardy kid starts making you late to everything in your life.

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