Recent studies show the couple that drinks together stays together. That can prove a difficult proposition if one half of the couple is pregnant. While there does appear to be a touch of grey in the area of exactly what she can and cannot imbibe while growing a baby, it might be best to play it safe.
But playing it safe doesn’t mean you have to stop playing. She can enjoy the flavor and ritual of a fine evening cocktail if you bend your bar skills towards mocktails. Which, surprisingly, are not things that you might see at a furry convention. (Wait, why are you going to a furry convention?)
Here’s a short pregnancy cocktail menu that allows her to enjoy a fancy-shmancy drink, while you booze it up beside her. Just don’t look too happy about it.
If she’s a whiskey drinker (you lucky S.O.B.), she’ll probably miss the brown elixir and its wonderful cocktail punch. You probably won’t miss how punchy she gets when she drinks whiskey cocktails.
What You’re Drinking: This Old Fashioned, which is connected to a super long story about the much-loved cocktail from Eater.com. Which would make more sense if it were coming from a drinker.
What She’s Drinking: The Commodore Mocktail #1 from a site called Experimental Virgins, who are clearly not that experimental if they’re still virgins.
Gin can be polarizing, and it has a distinct flavor. Luckily there are options. None of which you need to consider. Thank god.
What You’re Drinking: This “perfect” Gin and Tonic from TheKitchn suggests you cut the sweetness of your prefered tonic with club soda. Though how you’ll get your pregnant partner to let you go to the club so you can smuggle out soda is anyone’s guess.
What She’s Drinking: This Coconut Cucumber Lime And Mint Cooler leverages the vegetable to help capture those ginny tones. Which is something you usually need a horcrux to accomplish.
You can call any drink without vodka a “mocktail” because, by definition, every sorority girl’s favorite booze is supposed to be a flavorless base. Which is also what Terminator X calls his North Carolina ostrich farm.
What You’re Drinking: This straight-ahead Moscow Mule from Marie Claire. Easy peasy.
What She’s Drinking: The same exact damn thing but without the vodka. You can make it more legit by pouring both yours (and hers) into copper mugs. Be careful though, the police don’t like it when you steal their coffee cups.
When you lose rum from your drinking life, you lose a ton of tropical goodness. Luckily, you can keep the goodness in your life while keeping the pretense of the goodness in hers.
What You’re Drinking: This killer Dark and Stormy recipe from Esquire should do the trick. It leverages Gosling’s rum. Sure, dude won’t eat his cereal, but give him some rum and he’s all over it.
What She’s Drinking: This Light and Drizzly from Serious Eats forgoes the ginger beer for a ginger syrup. It takes a bit more preparation, but it’s the least you can do considering she’ll be preparing to birth your kid for the next 9 months.
Because you’ll be drinking way more now that you have things she can drink with you, you may need a “restorative” every once in awhile. Which you will enjoy with the brunch you’re making her as an apology for your moscow mule behavior, jackass.
What You’re Drinking: A healthy pour of vodka in this bloody mary mix from Emeril. He asks you apply some pickled okra as garnish. Hope that’s okray for you.
What She’s Drinking: Ina Garten’s Virgin Mary which does require that you use a food processor, but is super healthy considering all of the ingredients come from outta garten.