Having kids marks an enormous transition in a new parent’s life. Having grandkids is a slightly less intense experience, but it still marks a moment of change. And grandkids create a fresh dynamic by providing parents with new perspective and forcing more independent-minded kids to ask for help. Still, it’s not uncommon for these changes to lead to conflict. After all, grandparents are, well, grandparents. They do grandparent stuff, like not enforcing the same rules or respecting specific requests. So it goes.

That’s why Fatherly built this guide to grandparents. We talked to family therapists and actual parents about navigating relationships with grandparents, how grandparents around the world help out with kids, how to deal with overbearing grandparents, and more.