Fall means football and football means tailgating. Even if it’s too expensive to fly to the homecoming game or your kid has a better chance of seeing the end of the season ticket waiting list than you ever will, that doesn’t have to prevent you from drinking outside while wearing a sweater. Worst-case scenario: you round up the 7 items on this list and throw the baddest driveway tailgate party your neighborhood has ever seen. As a bonus, when your kid melts down mid-first quarter you won’t have to eat the $250 per ticket you just paid some scalper. Just put them down for a nap, head back outside, and crack a cold one. Sunday Funday indeed.
The CoolestThe most successful Kickstarter ever, the Coolest, is how adult beverages fly private. It packs a blender, wireless speaker, USB charger, bottle opener, integrated plates and utensils, LED lid light, and a gang of other absurd yet totally necessary features. It only could have been more aptly named if it were called “Kim,” for its ability to break the internet and pack a whole lot of junk in the trunk.
The Coolest ($485, pre-order)
Instagate Tailgate In A BoxAt the risk of Inception-ing this list, the Instagate is like the Coolest of tailgating. It packs an entire tailgate party into a single box — the grill, grill tools, plates and utensils, full beer pong table setup (cups and balls, too), and even ketchup and mustard. It’s all recyclable, which significantly reduces the risk of cleanup mayhem.
Instagate Tailgate In A Box ($40)
Paul Jr. Designs Coleman Roadtrip GrillAlternatively, you could solve that problem with this portable propane grill that features matchless lighting and folds up for simple, non-smoldering storage. With 285 square inches of surface area, 20,000 BTU burners, and interchangeable grill, griddle, and stove surfaces, you can whip up enough steaks for the whole tailgate party or enough dollar grilled cheeses to get you through the whole Grateful Dead reunion tour.
Paul Jr. Designs Coleman RoadTrip Grill ($150)
DISH King TailgaterTailgating all afternoon is the best way to get hyped for football, but not if it prevents you from watching an entire afternoon’s worth of football. That’s just unamerican. DISH knows you’re a true patriot, so they’ve created the King Tailgater, a fully automatic, portable HD satellite antenna that lets you enjoy your favorite programming anytime, anywhere. Specifically, more football, before football, in the football parking lot.
DISH King Tailgater ($450)
The Smoking Gun Handheld Food SmokerThis amazing little device imparts your grill creations with delicious smoky flavor. You’ll be able to fool your tailgate guests into thinking you’ve been slaving over those ribs since 5:30 this morning, and confuse the hell out of your one friend who definitely misunderstood what you meant by “Handheld smoking experience.”
The Smoking Gun Handheld Food Smoker ($90)
Therm-A-Rest Treo ChairThis comfortable camping chair ingeniously folds up into its base and weighs only 2 pounds, so you can stick it in your pocket and keep your hands free to haul precious beer and meats. The composite base and aluminum frame can support up to 250 pounds, so you’re in luck if the tight end decides to stop by for a pregame burger.
Therm-A-Rest Treo Chair ($100)
COFFEEBOXXWhy bring a coffee maker to a tailgate party? Because noon kickoffs, that’s why. The OXX COFFEEBOXX is water-resistant, impact-resistant, crush-proof, and spill-proof. So you can bring it to your parking lot football game in the rain, nail it with an errant pass, pile on top of it to recover a fumble, and still get a piping hot cup in less than 90 seconds.