This week, U.S. News & World Report released its Best Cars For Families in 2016, a list known by your former single-self as The Best Cockblock Cars. Now that you’re more likely to get caught checking out another minivan instead of another woman, you may as well embrace it and get the best one.
In that case, you’re going to want a Honda Odyssey, which won Best Minivan for the sixth year running — the longest winning streak in the report’s history. The Odyssey’s domination is due to a combination of versatility (it has more seating configurations than a high school cafeteria and max cargo room of 148.5 cubic feet), features (blind spot monitoring! parking sensors! built-in vacuum!), and performance (driving it sucks slightly less than the average minivan). It is, in short, the perfect ride for a guy looking to transport and embarrass his family at the same time.
If you’re a bit more flush, hit up your local Mercedes-Benz dealer. The fancy Germans won 4 out of 8 luxury categories, thanks to rock solid safety and reliability ratings, plus tech-heavy features like teen driver controls — because only a savage would let their teen actually control a car. But if you’re flush and contrarian, check out the newest Audi A7, which was named Best Large Luxury Car. Its vaguely retro fastback body style makes it the mullet of family cars: Uber stud in the front with room for chaos in the back.
Now that The Fast And The Furious are just fun movies and not shopping catalogs, these annual rankings are as good a place as any to begin the search for your next family truckster. Just remember, whatever you settle on will be covered in crushed Cheerios and unidentified bodily fluids before you can even calculate the resale value.
See the full list of ranking models and prices below.
- Best 2-Row SUVs: 2016 Nissan Murano $29,660
- Best 3-Row SUVs: 2016 Honda Pilot $30,145
- Best Compact Cars: 2016 Kia Soul $15,800
- Best Subcompact SUVs: 2016 Honda HR-V $19,215
- Best Compact SUVs: 2016 Honda CR-V $23,745
- Best Hatchbacks: 2016 Kia Soul $15,800
- Best Hybrid Cars: 2016 Lexus GS Hybrid $63,080
- Best Hybrid SUVs: 2016 Toyota Highlander Hybrid $47,870
- Best Large Cars: 2016 Chevrolet Impala $27,095
- Best Large SUVs: 2016 GMC Yukon $48,315
- Best Luxury Large Cars: 2016 Audi A7 $68,300
- Best Luxury Large SUVs: 2016 Cadillac Escalade $72,970
- Best Luxury 2-Row SUVs: 2016 Mercedes-Benz GLE-Class $51,100
- Best Luxury 3-Row SUVs: 2016 Volvo XC90 $43,950
- Best Luxury Compact SUVs: 2016 Mercedes-Benz GLC-Class $38,950
- Best Luxury Subcompact SUVs: 2016 BMW X1 $34,800
- Best Midsize Cars: 2016 Chevrolet Malibu $21,625
- Best Minivans: 2016 Honda Odyssey $29,400
- Best Upscale Midsize Cars: 2016 Mercedes-Benz E-Class $52,650
- Best Upscale Small Cars: 2016 Mercedes-Benz C-Class $38,950
- Best Wagon: 2016 Subaru Outback $24,995