Parents learn very early that their clothes are not safe from being stained with the shrapnel of crap, spit-up, and sprayed food that come from their kids. It’s par for the (very dirty) course. Also par: Leaving the house without realizing your t-shirt is Jackson Pollacked with various fluids. That’s where Vollebak’s high-performance tees come in. Intended for the Tough Muddering crowd, the shirts are designed specifically to camouflage stains.
Like many pieces of apparel for the active set, the shirts are lightweight and breathable. They’re made with a combination of elastane and polyamide and use ‘active’ reinforced stitching to defend from rips and wick away moisture. Where they really stand apart, however, is the ridiculously detailed patterns that disguise everything from dried spit-up and strained carrots to sweat, salt, and dirt.
Creating such a shirt wasn’t easy. Vollebak needed seven layers of fabric, as well as specific shade, shadow, and pattern tricks, to ensure that different types of stains would go unnoticed. The shirts run about $81 a pop (plus international shipping) and are currently available online. A bit costly, yes, but can you really put a price on dignity?