Have you been good this year? Do you have a kid? Then it doesn’t matter. Being a father automatically entitles you to the best presents for 2 reasons: First, no one’s thanking you the rest of the year (save for that crap tie at Father’s Day). Second,you made your kid — they kind of owe you. If you have no idea what to ask for because you’re too preoccupied keeping the kid alive, here are a few ideas to get your wish list started. Whatever your favorite pastime — gaming with your kid, hiking with your kid, taking photos of your kid — there’s something here that’ll help. What? You thought this wasn’t ultimately about your kid?
Brilliant BicycleBrilliant Bicycle delivers high-quality, customizable bikes that are smartly designed according to information you provide about your height, commute, and riding style. Ditto for Junior. And all their bikes are fully refundable within a 30-day trial period. The idea is to put a little joy back to your bike riding, and remove a little “Dick in spandex screaming, ‘ON YOUR LEFT!'”
Samsung GearFor when it’s not good enough to simply play the game, and you have to live the game, Gear puts you smack in the center of the action. The arrival of true mobile virtual reality takes immersive gaming — and phubbing — to previously unimaginable levels. So, by all means, get your game on … and, after you got your game on a bit too hard, get your game with your partner back on.
GoPro HERO4 Session With Fetch HarnessGoPro’s smallest, lightest camera lets you shoot professional-quality, 1440p video of all the badass action sports you used to have time for, or point-of-view footage of your kid’s first time trying them. It’s about the same size as the Polaroid Cube, but not quite as kid friendly. For that, there’s the fetch harness, which is technically meant to show you the world from your pet’s perspective, but your human critter is going to be way funnier.
GoPro HERO4 Session
Filson x Burton Wheelie Flight Deck Travel BagSnowboard gods Burton teamed up with Filson, purveyors of “Unfailing Goods” for miners, 49ers, and guys who style themselves after the Brawny Paper Towel Guy, on this power upgrade to the popular Flight Deck bag. The new version features customizable skate wheels, rugged back panels and buckles, and “Cram Zones,” because you’re either overpacking for yourself or cramming in every toy and coloring book in your house. Likely the latter.
Sonos Play:5Sonos systems use one app to separately control every “true to the music, right for the room” speaker in your house over wifi. If you didn’t know that already, and have 12 hours of kids’ tunes saved on Spotify, your life just changed. If you’re upgrading your existing system, the Play:5 should still top your list. With 6 state of the art amps and 6 speakers, it’ll fill any room with ultra-clear, kid-muffling sound.
Osprey PocoThere are 3 popular carriers in the Poco line, but the Premium comes with a few choice extras, like a detachable day pack and a diaper changing pad. And do you really want to be caught at the top of the trail with a 4-alarm diaper and no detachable diaper changing pad? It’s rated for kids up to 48 pounds, so you can carry them long after you hoped they’d be walking the whole way on their own.
OXO OnYour kids are about to wake up even earlier than usual and make your living room look like a tinsel bomb ground zero; you need one of the Specialty Coffee Association Of America’s 10 Certified Home Brewers. A Rainmaker Shower Head evenly disperses water for optimal saturation and flavor extraction, and it holds 4-12 cups at the precisely perfect temperature. Microprocessors ensure you don’t need to know how it works, just that it does.
Bowflex SelectTechIf your home gym got nuked to make way for a nursery, here’s a full rack of dumbbells that will fit in whatever corner of the house you can still claim as yours. That’s because each dumbbell quickly ratchets up from 5 to 52.5 pounds with the click of a dial, so you can get your reps in and your kid can have room for all those toys. Which they totally need and play with all the time.
People I Want To Punch In The FaceSanta’s not the only one making a list. Here’s the perfect place to take down the information of all the lovely other parents you meet at the playground: phone number, email address, naughty, or nice.