youth soccer dad battle
James on James Violence

Kevin James and James Corden Fight for Soccer Dad Supremacy

Sports dads can be pretty intense and, on last night’s Late Late Show, host James Corden and Kevin James had a full-blown soccer dad war as they played two supportive, but selfish fathers obsessed with cheering on their respective kids. It all starts simply enough, with Corden and James shouting mild encouragement from the bleachers, but then they turn on each other and turn up the nonsense. The bit is clearly satire, but it almost doesn’t go far enough. Both men are just too good-natured to take it to the dark, Lynchian place a true soccer squabble inevitable finishes.

Still, fangs (and a brass band) come out.

After James implies that Corden’s kid is so small that he should be held back and Corden pursues a line of nutritional inquiry, all hell breaks loose and shit gets weird. Corden quickly breaks out a sign to support his son while James opts for a portable karaoke machine so he can belt out “You’re the Best Around.” At that point, soccer has clearly ceased to matter, which is pretty much how these things go.

This soccer dad-off eventually reaches a point where James somehow recruits an entire marching band to show his dedication to cheering on his son. Fortunately — or whatever — Adam Sandler, in the role of referee, steps in to calm things down by informing the heated duo that the game has been over for almost an hour and that their kids are gone.

Presumably, the kids have wisely opted out of quality time.

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