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Never Say Die

All The Sports And Activities That Can Kill Your Kid In One Handy Infographic

You have to do a million different things for your kid, but the most important one is making sure they don’t die. And while that’s easy enough when it comes to things like looking both ways before crossing the street and not vacationing in Mexican cartel country, it can be trickier when it comes to their recreational opportunities. Fortunately, the good people at Best Health Degrees (whoever they are) have stepped in with an infographic that compiles CDC data to determine all the things Junior shouldn’t be allowed to do as an after school activity.

For starters, no BASE jumping, which was ranked as the Most Dangerous Assorted Sports and Recreation Activity, with a one-in-60 chance of killing its participants. Other activities you should encourage your kid to abstain from are Grand Prix racing, hang gliding, and somewhat surprisingly, canoeing. The Okee Dokee Brothers, reportedly, were crushed to hear it.

Best Health Degrees

So what can you do with your kid that doesn’t put you both at mortal risk? Snowboarding, for starters, only gives you a one in 2.2 million chance of dying — although your kid’s chances skyrocket if you start riding like this guy. Unfortunately, no matter what you do your chances of dying doubles every 8 years, so all you can do is try not to smoke and scuba dive all the time. Those fish seem like dicks anyways.

[H/T] Teton Gravity Research